MY xiaomei's birthday

happi birthdai, my dearest xiao mei.

few days ago had a small fight with my parents.
i angry at them because they always think the past
think think think, then argue with each others.
for how many times i told them to stop it
there is no point to stay in the past
how many years more can you go?
just stop lookin back and move foward
but they never listen to me
everytimes i saw my sister calling
just in a second i will become very very worry and bad mood
hm, few days ago, they did the same thing again
i was so angry and i scolded mama so badly
"sorry, xiao mei, i was just very sad, i don't mean it"

today, is my cutie mama birthday,
i just want to tell her,
i love you mama ^^
happi sweet sweet birthday!


*GOD, please take good care of my mama and papa,
wish my mama no sick no pain,
wish my papa become stronger and stronger,
wish them happy always

I LOVE BOTH OF THEM!

我恨你们!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

穷，我不怕，我也不介意，
我恨的，怒的，是所有人都在欺负我爸妈！
为什么？
他们就是心地太好，时常被人骗！
被骗了，就对我们说，
算了吧算了吧，不是他们傻，不会反抗，
而是他们说，当是积德给我们，
让我们以后日子能过得好点。
我恨你们！！！！！
我发誓，我有钱时，我一定要让你们后悔这样对他们!!!!!!!!!!!!
不要再欺负我爸妈了！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

我的 第一次后悔

爸，妈，

有个问题，我想问你们很久了。

爸，我想问你，当初有后悔让我读这一科吗？

妈，我想问你，当初有在心里责怪我为什么选这一科吗?

一直以来，我都不为自己做过的事而后悔，

可是，这一次，我竟然有那么一点点的质疑，

我错了吗？

还记得，妈妈你曾在和爸讨论着应不应该让我读这科时说了一句话，

“我相信我女儿做的任何决定。”

我听了，我只和自己说了一句话，

妈，我不会让你后悔相信我！

谢谢你们，无论是在叛逆期的我，还是在长大的我，你们对我，

总是那么100%的信任。

没有了你们，我无法想象我现在会在哪里。

爸爸，那天你对我说，

孩子是你每一天努力做工挣钱，唯一的动力。

其实，我想和你们说，

你们俩老，也是我每一天努力读书，努力学习，唯一的动力，

我要带你们离开这里，过着你们想过的生活。

对不起，

有时，我真的觉得我选错了。

我恨自己，当时为什么不听你们说，

原来你们要的，是看着你们的孩子，

读大学，带四方帽，做个有学问的人，

而不是像我现在，做着别人的奴隶，

不但只不能挣钱给你们，还要让你们担心，

对不起，

我后悔了。

这一切，还能从来吗？

爸，妈，你们告诉我，我错了吗？

*咸咸的，

原来是我的泪水，又偷偷地流下来了。*

我的 觉悟篇

现在看开了，会很迟吗？

以前刚刚高考完后第一件事情，

就是想着怎样挣钱给家里。

所以什么都不顾地选了我自以为可以赚大钱的工，

一心想着，出国后一定要努力挣钱，把一叠一叠的金钱寄回来家里。

因为不想爸爸妈妈辛苦，我觉得这是他们现在需要的。

结果，忙忙碌碌，奔波劳累，辛苦了这么久，

被人排斥，被人看小，被人欺负，什么都体验过了，

才发现，原来，他们要的不是这些。

真的觉得自己很傻，

以前，一直很执着的想着挣钱挣钱，

现在，我反而觉得一家人可以开开心心，一起享受那努力的过程，一起互相鼓励，

才是最重要的。

就算富有的生活迟一点才来，也无所谓，因为以后我们一定会比现在更知足。

我真的看开了，你们连我那二三百都不想付的话，

无所谓吧！钱我不要了，爸爸教我永远不为一斗米而折腰，我有骨气，

只要求你承认自己说的话，还我那一点点的公平。

“做人要对的起自己的良心”

MY new day (2)

now i believed, with different angle of view,
you can see a different life.

i start falling in love with my work.
because i have no choice,
the only thing i can do is do it with my best.

im always better than yesterday now!

MY new day

must be wondering why i deleted my previous post yeh?
ya, cause i just realised something today.

"we all start new everyday,
and we promised that we will do better,
the problem is the execution."
it seems like a phrase in a show,
but it is the fact.

sorry is what i have to say to myself now.
before coming back from KK,
i was telling mysel "shadow, get a new life."
yeh, and i start trying to be better,
be nice to people, smile to others, mores and mores.
but i guess i broke the promise that i'd make to myself by just a blog.
and today, i realised a lot of thing and i got a brand new of thinking in my mind.
im gonna make it, no matter how hard it is.
at least i think that i made it today.
im not angrying, i talked to him,
no matter how harsh he treated me,
i still keep the smile on my face.
because this morning i promised to my GOD,
that im gonna be nice to him.
and i think i did it pretty well. right?


however,i was about to cry during my lunch break.
but i always remember what my dad told me.
"your tears is your treasure"
then i swallowed all the tears immediately.
this make me realised something again.
"nothing is hard."
i used to be such a "cry bag", and now i actually made it!
i did what i wanted myself to be.
so, how hard is it?!

seriously,
im telling myself now.
i have to change this life.
but maybe its been too long that i never talk to the others.
because i was sticking with my family all this time.
i even forgot how to socialize,
but i will still want to try.
sorry to all my friends, cause i admit that i'd neglected you all for so long.
and thanks to those who never leave me no matter what happened.
i promised i will be better ^^

today, is a new day.
and i actually made it.
(a long and boring post, sorry, i just blogged it here so it reminds me all the times when i want to blog)

MY all feelings in this coming JULY

i hate the first of july.

i hate tomoro.

i hate its time to work.

i hate rules.

i hate to lost.

i hate contract.

i hate being control.

i hate to see someone that i hate to see.

i hate to do things that i don't want to do.

i hate KL.

i hate to cry in the mid night.

i hate when there's no money in my pocket.

i hate to be separated.

i hate to act like i am happy.

i hate when the landlord come and collect rental from me.

i hate going back to KDU.

i hate everything.

but i still have to do so.

argh.

dam. i just hate.